Pacific Rim AU: The Shatterdome is the Worst Bar in Hong Kong
“The first thing I noticed about The Shatterdome is its charm: it has none. There was an ominous feeling that you could get stabbed at any moment - most likely by the ornately-dressed patron who was surrounded by what could only be described as henchmen. When I ordered a glass of wine, not only did the surly, blue-haired waitress refuse to make it, she proceeded to call me a word that I cannot print in this paper. I was forced to listen to the classless boors who call themselves the owners get drunk and yell over each other. The two German owners mostly just screamed at one another, but the American and the Australian owner got into an actual fist fight in their own bar. When I finally could take no more and left, I found that the entire street had been flooded by the other Australian owner who had popped open a fire hydrant and set up a kiddie wading pool, claiming that he had no other choice since it was such a hot day. The flood created all sorts of traffic and I was unable to leave the bar for another thirty minutes, during which the fist fight escalated.
Having reviewed every bar in the city, I hereby declare The Shatterdome to be the worst bar in Hong Kong.”
Oh, sure, that’s what the reviewers say, and sure the staff just argues and drinks their own beer all the time, and sure it’s probably bad for business that the sign often says “CLOSED” even when it’s not, but the fact remains that The Shatterdome somehow still makes money. How does this place stay in business?!
(Answer: It’s because word of mouth tells you that all of the owners and waitstaff are mind-bogglingly attractive. That’s how.)
(Also sometimes there is a DJ and he’s super hot too.)
I was largely inspired by this post by lordbyronsbloomers, which is so so so so cute and then wantonlywindswept wrote this super cute stuff for it :D I wanted to make cute adorable Pacific Rim stuff too but then I just made something horrible instead. I… think this may be my favorite Pacific Rim thing that I’ve made to date and I can’t figure out if it’s BECAUSE of how ridiculous it is, or DESPITE it…
COA: most of the newspaper review comes directly from the Sunny episode “Paddy’s Pub: The Worst Bar in Philadelphia.” (Fire hydrant stuff from “Mac and Charlie: White Trash.”)